Sex positivity is a way of thinking about, talking about, and enacting our sexualities. It is:
- Broad and inclusive;
- encouraging and honouring;
- curious and open to learning;
- respectful of my and your "no", or "not now".
We'll know that we're being sex positive when we encourage the things that make us feel good, pleasured and pleasuring. The more generous we get in our positivity about sex, the more we might experience greater freedom from constraints in enacting the kinds of sex that we want to have. We might find ourselves saying things or doing things with more ease and openness to pleasure. And we might be less critical of ourselves and/or others, and more in the moment.
Sex positivity means that we want to be doing what we're doing. That means that we are able to know and articulate what we want and don't want. And consent is mutual, meaning that all partners are experiencing and giving pleasure, while free from any coercion.
Being positive and comfortable with our bodies is an important way to be more positive and excited about the kinds of sex we like to have. Each person's body is unique. Recognizing what's especially beautiful about our own bodies helps us to feel more positive about sex in general.
Sex positivity means communicating and listening for what we and our partner(s) want. It also means being encouraging, open and curious about the range of sexual options, from no sex (or no sex right now), to whatever gives us pleasure and satisfaction. I will always do my best to stay sex positive as I invite you to think about ways to further develop your own sex positivity.